are you wearing a hearing aid or metal denture plates?
have you ever had metallic fragments in your eyes?
have you ever had an injury involving bullets or shrapnel?
this line of questioning made me think it wasn’t the time to smuggle in a camera to my MRI scan. i had an MRI when i was a kid for my epilepsy but i don’t remember much of it. i also have a memory of being trapped under the cushions of an abandoned sofa with kids on top of me which was terrifying. i don’t think i’ve felt real fear for years. you get used to being in front of large crowds not knowing what you’re doing. you learn to look like you know what you’re doing and they believe it. the worst that can happen is that you walk off stage looking like you know what you’re doing. i trundled, head bolted down, into the body sized MRI tube. like a casket to it’s cremation. i was instantly back in that sofa on that estate, covered in cushions and kids. i couldn’t move, it was just me and the story i told myself. my body didn’t believe one bit of the story and my fight or flight wanted to tell it’s side.
what i thought was sinus problems might have something to do with the white patch that they just found to the bottom right of my brain. i have had a stroke. it’s healthy to reacquaint yourself with fear if you’ve lost the knack. i just need to try and look like i know what i’m doing